lust

i made out with someone that was not Mark this past weekend.  it was sweaty, it was salty, it was urgent, it was seriously hot and intense.  he was a hairy tall mass of muscle and i loved how it felt with all of his weight on top of me - pressing down, grinding and thrusting at me.  the slickness of his sweat, the thickness of his furry chest and torso, the solidness of his body, the amount of heat we were making as we writhed on top of one another - it was all such a turn on for me.

i was seriously beyond a cat in heat.  it took so much willpower not to take off my underwear so i could lube up his thick cock and ride him like crazy.  to have him grip both of my ankles and push them past my head so that he could ram his cock in and out of me like a piston.  god that would have felt amazing.......his huge biceps wrapped around my neck, gripping me tightly as his tongue explored my mouth with this insane urgency. 

admittedly we were both high and a little drunk.  i never thought in a million years that a guy as hot as him would ever have the remotest interest in me like that.  but it happened, and i'm not sure how to process it.  but i know i want it to happen again, and that scares me a little bit.

we didn't fuck, so its left me with my imagination wandering off into dangerous areas.  the idea of him pounding and jack hammering away at me gets me really flushed and turned on.  i couldn't concentrate at work today because it was just about all i could think about.  the gravelly deepness of his voice panting and grunting in my ear only made me want to clutch him that much more tightly to me.  running my fingernails down his massive back and biting his deliciously thick forearms......wow.

the whole time Mark was upstairs sleeping.  i did tell him when we came home later on that day what i did.  he took it well, suspected that we had fooled around.  but i feel a little bit bad that i didn't tell him the whole story.  i didn't tell Mark that i went down on him, that we got almost naked, that i was THAT close to throwing all caution and respect aside to let this wall of muscle fuck me senseless.  but i couldn't and yet i don't feel guilty about it......is it because in my head, i don't think i cheated on Mark?  am i Bill Clinton, where i don't consider a blowjob as sex? 

i want to go over to his place, strip down and let him have his way with me.  to spend hours with him fucking me in every possible position he can.  i want to see how deep and hard he can thrust his cock up me and to take his load all over my mouth, my lips.  i want taste his cock again.  he woke up something in me that Mark hasn't in a while.  he knows how to be rough.  he knows how to be just the right amount of dirty.  i haven't had that with Mark in such a long time.  i want this guy because he is so different physically to Mark.  i want him because i'm a horny inconsiderate bastard that doesn't know if he can be monogamous.  no, make that - doesn't WANT to be monogamous.  is that really such a bad thing?